I Can Help
by White Widow
Summary: Throughout life, I sometimes felt like the best way to sympathize with people was through shared experience. But I never wanted to share an experience like this with anyone, especially him. I know one thing for certain though. I will always stand by Coulson's side and fight, no matter what the downfall of S.H.I.E.L.D. has thrown at us.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** I haven't written fanfiction stories in such a long time, so please be kind if it's not that well. But constructive criticism is always welcome! And if this gets positive feedback, I will be more than happy to add on to this story. I have some great ideas for future chapters. n.n

_**Be warned, as there are spoilers for The Winter Soldier.**_

And my character has telekinetic abilities!  
(And she calls him AC because that nickname is fab)  
Identification of my character will be in chapter 2!

_Takes place 6 months after 1x17.  
(This like like an AU of sorts?)_

**Pairings:** Coulson/OC  
**Rating:** T for now. May be M later.  
**Word Count:** 1,791

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**Chapter 1**

It was one of those rare occasions where we all get a few days off from all the chaos. We had just finished taking out a few small Hydra operations, dealing with the average crap they had us putting up with these days. Stealing young children, who had abilities, only to make them stronger and use their powers as weapons against those who wouldn't give themselves up for a pointless cause. Along with trying to take over anyone they can attempt to get their hands on. _How despicable._ But how easy it was to take them out when I got there. It always is.

The team and I have been completely busy locating and taking down 3 Hydra operations the past two months, and let me tell you, it paid off.

On the other hand, my body is _sore_. Lack of sleep may or may not catch up with me soon.

Inhale. Exhale.

I willed my mind towards the past few days, recalling snippets of moments that was in the "_definitely worth remembering_" category. Italics and everything.

_Flashback_

_I ran in the doorway to find a semi-bleeding and sweating ('glistening') Coulson beating the hell out of one of the Hydra recruits, and I can't say I wasn't impressed. I stood there, knowing Coulson had total control over this one._

_They were over by the security monitors, and the guy who is unfortunate to get the shit beat out of by one of the greatest Agents ever, gets back handed with the butt of the owner's gun. Mr. Unfortunate falls over, gripping tightly to the table next to him, the 3 security monitors sitting side by side move at the sudden shift. He tries to move, get away, but Coulson was too fast, and very strong from the sound of the now broken jaw, hitting him once more. _

_Coulson wasn't done though. He grabbed the guy by the shirt, kneeing him in the gut. Coulson let him fall to the floor, and the guy let out a slight groan. A second went by before he started laughing. Well, as best as he could in his situation._

"_You…...will nev..er..win, ...Agent," he croaks, looking so damn smug._

"'_ail Hydra."_

_Which only pissed off AC even further, who plain out punched him in the face as hard as he could. _

Crack.

'_A broken nose, or a broken hand? Probably both.' I thought to myself as I winced._

_The Hydra recruit now lay unconscious and bloody on the cold concrete ground. Until Coulson pulled out his gun and pointed it at the body on the ground, murmured something I couldn't comprehend. I held my breath. _

'_AC, please, you don't want to do this.'_

_Silence and tension filled the room, and eventually, Agent Coulson lowered his gun._

'_I need to step in.'_

_I stepped forward, quietly entering. But Coulson was on a roll, and of course he heard me. He spun around to face me, pointing the gun right at me. I held up my hands and stepped back._

_We looked at each other for a few seconds before his expression softened a bit and he let a sigh, putting away his gun, wincing slightly.._

"_Let's get out of here," he says. And way too simply. Like he didn't just beat the living daylights out of someone just now. But I understood. We needed to get the hell out of here._

_So we did. But also to get his right hand checked out._

_What I didn't find out until days later was the reason behind Coulson's actions towards the guy in the hideout den. We were supposed to bring him in, but was left in such a bad state that no one thought we could bring him in. At least there were other men that had been captured and were able to be questioned._

_Before arriving and watching Coulson, the man was telling Coulson about everything that was done to him and had mentioned TAHITI. But that was nothing new. _

_It was the hysteric laughter and the mocking, __"How pathetic it must be, to think you are so important to S.H.I.E.L.D. Your loyalty is wasted."_

_Yet Agent Coulson's loyalty is never wasted. He continues to prove that everyday. __And prove it he did._

_Upon having coming across this information from going over the security feeds after thoroughly going through everything to put in the file, I could feel my chest swell with pride._

_And something else I can't.._

_Then it hit me._

_Oh._

_I'm in love with him._

As the recent revelation crossed my mind as I played through the scenario in my head, a part of me wasn't surprised, but at the same time, it made my nerves go a little haywire. I almost laughed actually.

If anyone were to walk by and see me, they'd see a girl meditating and doing deep breathing exercises. One would of course assume that I was deeply relaxed. But while I tried to keep composure, and a few more minutes had passed with the thoughts swirling through my mind, it was becoming almost too much. A pull in my gut made me open my eyes as I let my limbs fall from tree* position.

_I've been working with him for what, three years now? Why didn't I see it sooner? I mean, yes, I've had a crush on the guy since I met him. But in love? I haven't felt like this in many years. Happy, whole. Not to mention carefree...to an extent. When was the last time I even felt like this? Six, seven years, maybe? Again, why hadn't I realized sooner? I'm an idiot! For so many reasons!_

I stood in the cargo area alone, save for the fact that FitzSimmons were in their lab working on something.

I haven't even meditated for two hours, and I knew I wouldn't be able to go back to meditative state. Not tonight.

Looking down beside me, I picked my phone up from beside my yoga mat and checked the time.

_6:46 - Only an hour and sixteen minutes of meditation time._

Sighing, I gather my stuff and head back up to my room. I look over to my right, spotting the bar.

_Maybe some Riesling wine will help with these nerves. _I could do with a good buzz tonight.

I continued walking and stepped inside my bunk, the door closing behind me. After placing the yoga mat in the corner of my small bunk and placing my phone on the bed, I changed into a pair of jean shorts. Throwing my yoga pants onto the bed and my phone in my pocket, my bunk door opened and I made my way back out headed for the bar.

Sitting down, the Riesling wine bottle and a glass floated into view. As my glass set in front of me, wine poured inside, the bottle then settling on the cool surface of the counter.

Taking a sip, I looked around, before willing myself to relax. And to think about my feelings logically.

_Okay.. One, I am 27. He is 43. And that's a bit of an age gap. Secondly, I'm foolish to even think about this. He will never feel the same. But I hope. In these silly daydreams of mine, I hope. But maybe this is how is has to be.. Doesn't mean it'll be a bad thing though. I'd rather be friends with him than nothing at all._

We have a great friendship. And he makes me genuinely smile. Either it being from some witty remark, his jokes, or just being plain old A.C.. But I don't want to ruin that by me blabbing about my feelings to him. I don't want to pressure him into something he has no remote interest in.

_But we talk to each other about anything really, when we can. Maybe that's how it started; when I started feeling like this. Or maybe it was his wonderful eyes that first drew me in._

Yet the thought of being able to talk to someone, no matter how crazy my thoughts may seem.. Well that was hard to find these days. No matter what I talked about, he always listened, never judging. And in return, I did just that for him.

We would stay up late at the bar and talk. Sometimes in the lounge, or even in his office. It wouldn't be until two or three in the morning before we retired for bed. Those are the nights I greatly treasured.

I drank the rest of the contents in the glass quickly, ignoring the slight uncomfortable sensation at the back of my throat. I wanted to be buzzed soon. Even if it was only sometime after seven, I just wanted to sit back and treat myself.

_If I'm guilty of anything though, it would be the sexual fantasies I had of this man. I imagine he had to be wonderful at sex. Perhaps he had a kinky side..._

He was a stern man though and I found that extremely attractive. Yet underneath, that stern man was someone who was a child at heart. You see it sometimes, the way his eyes lit up, and his laughter would fill the room. Carefree and happy Coulson. Which was extremely attractive as well. Something I definitely wanted to see more of.

_After everything that has happened to him, Phil Coulson truly does deserve peace._

Pulling out of my thoughts, I take a few more swigs of the rest of the wine in the cup. I look around the lounge area, and I found the silence comforting.

_But only for so long. Then chaos will slice through the silence like it's nothing._

_May is in the cockpit_, I could only assume. _AC's probably in his office, while FitzSimmons are tinkering in their lab._

Ward hadn't been a part of our team for at least 6 months now. Not after we found out he was helping Garrett. That whole situation had been a huge friggin' mess. The look of betrayal in everyone's eyes. Especially May..

I reached over and grabbed the wine bottle and poured myself some more, drinking the whole cup in one go. I don't want to think anymore at this point tonight.

_"I think I'm starting to feel something."_ I thought, chuckling to myself.

I was definitely feeling buzzed already. It never took much. Two glasses of wine will usually do it for me.

Standing up slowly, I made my way over to the couch, wine and glass following and settling itself on the table. Only after a coaster moved over and the glass gracefully hovered and sat atop of it, of course.

_Some of AC's habits have been growing on me lately._

The remote floated into reach and I turned on the telly. Tonight, I will relax with wine and watch reruns of my favourite shows.

Yet I knew it was a matter of time before Coulson would run into me here.

I smiled.

_I can't wait._

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*Tree position is a yoga position

R&R? c:


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** The only thing I own is my character that I'm introducing in this chapter/story.  
**Word Count for Chapter:** 920

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**Chapter 2**

I never really got to introduce myself, did I? Probably not though, seeing as this is all inside my head. It is...isn't it?

I have no idea anymore. I've seen so many things in my life. But...if there is anyone here..

I'm Ellie. I'm a caucasian American with long, chestnut brown hair that waves to it's own imagination. A small nose that was really nothing special, and one of the shortest members (5'5") on the Bus despite my age (27), with hazel eyes. I was born September 14th, 1987, in a crappy town in Pennsylvania. I grew up as an only child, but I never minded it. I always rather stayed to myself anyways.

Divulged in books is what I did, always losing myself in mystery, romance, and science fiction from time to time. As I grew a little older, I discovered the internet, then television shows, a wider range of movies. The impossible stories that caught my attention in different varieties, me hoping and hoping that maybe, just maybe, I could be part of an impossible story myself.

My childhood was dull however, and teenage years were nothing exciting. I didn't like to party, although my kind of party was me lounging around the house all day in my underwear, listening to music when my parents were at work. My father was a lawyer while my mother was a nurse, Oliver and Leah Chester. They were wonderful people. Down to earth, very caring, and extremely intelligent. Well, of course they are. Their career choice is evident enough.

I could never think of the right career choice for myself. Who the hell knew what they wanted to do with the rest of their lives when they're young? Thankfully my parents understood that.

When I was older, 20, going on 21, I would occasionally volunteer at soup kitchens, walk along with equality parades. My parents never cared if I got a job or not either, as long as I was doing something besides laying around every day. So I kept myself busy from time to time, volunteering anywhere I could, always happy to give a helping hand. I never really liked schedules, so volunteering was always my best bet.

Not once did I think that I was being watched, never thinking that someone would want to hurt me. I'm a nice person, I always kept to myself unless it was necessary for me to talk to people. So...why did it have to lead to all of this? What's the gain they could possibly get from me?

This is the story where the world around me began to fall apart. Everything I knew began to crumble around me, as I was being sucked into something so completely impossible, that I had no time to wrap my head around it.

Flashback

_Be careful for what you wish for, I had thought to myself grimly, as I sat hunched over and tied up, body slightly bruised and lip bleeding, on the back seat of some SUV with a damn cloth bag over my head. I damn well didn't go down without a fight._

_What's going to happen to me though? Everything was becoming too much, and for the first time in my life, I passed out._

_/_

_The first thing I noticed was hum of the subtle pain and weakness pulsing through my body, despite feeling numb head to toe. I wanted to scream, I wanted to yell. What were these people doing to me? Why? But I knew they had put morphine into my system, I felt the needle in my right arm, along with the lightness that I felt. _

_A bright light began to blur into my vision as I heard different voices around me. I looked around, trying to clear the blurriness in my eyes that didn't want want to clear up in the slightest. _

_As I tried to do that, I heard a woman announce, "She's awake!" _

_Everything was so foggy. I couldn't make anyone out, and it was hard to keep my eyes open. I felt with my hands, and looked at where I was laying. Noticing that I was tied down to some sort of hospital bed, I started hyperventilating, the heart monitor beside me started beeping franticly._

_Someone rested their hands on my arms and whispered, "Ellie, relax. I want to give you something remarkable," in my ear. It was a man. _

_He paused. _

_I said nothing, willing myself to just inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale._

_But then: "And when you are ready, I will ask for something in return."_

_He stepped back at that. I stared at his foggy figure, not knowing what to say and trying to steady myself and the few tears in my eyes. The morphine and whatever else I was possibly drugged with, was dulling not only the physical pain, but my feelings too. Only to an extent, clearly._

_The guy moved away and whispered something in someone's ear. _

_I could hear the faint, "Yes, sir", followed by shuffling. _

_The woman was now at my bedside as she looked at me, pity or coldness probably evident in her eyes, I couldn't tell. She injected me with something in my left arm, holding a cloth against the punctured skin for a moment before taking it off._

'_Please.. just... kill me.' I thought, as a tear slide down my cheek._

_A few seconds later, I felt myself being dragged back into the darkness, as well as someone wiping the tear from my cheek._

_/_

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**A/N:** Cliff-hanger! But I really wanted to post this chapter. :)  
Chapter 3 will be up soon. x

R&R?


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